Men, life can be very frustrating. Everyone depends on you. There is often little left over for yourself after you have given everyone their due. Maybe you even feel like your people are always watching you, expecting you to never make a misstep.
We males are still somewhat wired for the hunter-gatherer days. When we feel a loss of control, we might try to get it back through anger or aggression. Or we feel we don’t measure up to what a man is supposed to be and we feel shame. To avoid losing your power, keep the following three points in mind:
1. Don’t shut yourself off to new information. When problems and situations arise, it is not unusual to want to take command and if we are not sure how to do it, we might feel compelled to throw our weight around. All men need help from time to time and there is no shame in asking for support or direction. Many of us relate to the guy who does not want to ask for directions. We may think this is an insult to our sense of direction! But it is perfectly natural for anyone to become disoriented from time to time. Life has more road signs than we can read. Strangely, most psychological roadblocks have counter-intuitive solutions. In this case, a lot of energy can be saved by humbling ourselves and getting some guidance.
2. If you find yourself casting blame, it’s time for a new strategy. A lot of things may be someone else’s or the world’s fault. Getting hung up on this is a giant waste of energy. There are two ways of looking at life: the way it should be and the way it is. Preoccupation with the way it should be leads to blaming others. The habit of blaming others can make our brains more willing to accept misinformation and prejudices. Those who cast blame are more susceptible to giving in to conspiracy theories. Why? Because one has the illusion of being right without ever having to give anything a thought or taking responsibility for one’s actions. Those who take responsibility for their life always live a more meaningful one.
3. Doing nothing about anger is costing you more than just unpleasant feelings. Anger is still one of the few emotions men are willing to express. And why? Because the other emotions are for weaklings and anger is associated with aggression and control. But anger costs us trust, relationships, mental and physical health and can cost us financially if it affects our connections or leads to damaged property. It is not uncommon for us males to treat our anger with alcohol or other substances. Then of course, the costs are amplified even more.
If you need help with any of these things, there is no substitute for a good therapist or coach who is willing to listen, without judgment to your experience. There are ways to improve almost every situation. Why not find out if you can improve yours? Book with Men’s Soul Counselling Service today.
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